Michael Nguyen SVD
…And Jesus said, “In praying, do not bable…” (Mt 6:7).
You asked,
— Has your mind ever been vacuous while praying? I mean you run out of what you’d like to say in your prayer…
I smile, nod my head, and sincerely confess,
— Well! Those moments are not rare in my prayer life!
During the minutes that my mind fails to formulate or recite a prayer, either a Hearted or Rosary Prayer; “you know what I normally do,” well, I embrace my vacuous mind. And yet still I sit there, being fully aware that I have nothing more to say.
There were times during the Adoration hour I was fully aware that my mind was totally emptied. And yet I sit on the bench while closing my eyes. I relaxed the muscles on my body, neck and back. Placing two hands on my thighs, I payed attention to the air which was saturated in my lungs. I breathed all the way in the holy air in the chapel. I breathed all the way out the sadness which had been stored up for a long time in the depth of my soul. Again I breathed deeply into my body the fresh air of the sky while concentrating on the gentle touch of the precious air to the tiny cells of my lungs. I then breathed out all the anger frozen like ice cubes.
I allowed my mind to be pondering on the moment the breath of life was flowing into my nostrils. I ruminated about the moment I, a tiny fertilized egg, burst into life in my mother’s womb. I quickly grew up from a tiny embryo into a human fetus. Her flesh became my flesh. For 9 months and 10 days, I breathed the breath of my mother, felt sad and also joyful in accord with her sadness and joy. On behalf of God, my mother embraced me dearly in her womb. My mother, who is faithful to her prayers, day and night praying in front of the crucifix for her children, grandchildren and grand-grand children!
Due to her constant prayers for me, still I enthusiastically set foot to different missionary posts in American, Australia and currently the Philippines.
I open my eyes! The chapel is still flickering with a few lights from the candles on the altar. On the sanctuary, Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament is still gazing on me… The holy hour is slowly elapsing.
I close my eyes! Again I immerse myself deeply into the Meditative Prayer!
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