Deacon San Manh Nguyen
In the past, many couples in our homeland lived together, some not very happily, but they stayed together until old age, parting only in death. However, in today’s society, which focuses on material enjoyment to satisfy personal needs, the willingness to sacrifice material and spiritual comforts for each other in marital relationships, as seen in the past, is becoming increasingly rare. It is for this reason that the folk verse above reminds us to pay attention to its profound meaning. Although the verse may no longer seem relevant in today’s era of freedom and civilized living, there are still instances where similar situations occur, often due to circumstances related to U.S. law. Recently, a case similar to the meaning of the folk verse happened as follows:
A Vietnamese female student came to study in the United States with sponsorship from a married couple. Her parents wanted to invest in her education in the hope that she would obtain a university degree in the U.S. and, upon returning home, would be well-regarded by the government. By chance, someone introduced her parents to a middle-aged Vietnamese-American man visiting Vietnam. He was single, having had no children from his previous marriage, and was a U.S. citizen. Seeing this as a lucky opportunity to fulfill their long-held desire, the parents negotiated with the man to pretend to marry their daughter for a fee, so that he could sponsor her to study in the U.S. Upon her arrival, she would live in the school dormitory for at least two years, after which she would file for divorce from him under U.S. Immigration Law.
The Vietnamese-American man agreed to the conditions set by the student’s parents. Immediately, the parents handed over $20,000 in cash to him as a down payment, representing the agreed-upon amount after the negotiations ended satisfactorily.
Less than four months later, their daughter arrived in the U.S. and was welcomed at the airport by the Vietnamese-American man, who took her directly to the university dormitory. While the student continued her studies, one day, her fake husband visited her at the dormitory. Seeing her beauty and gentle demeanor, he suddenly felt a surge of affection for her from the depths of his heart. He expressed his love for her and asked her to move in with him as his wife, as stated in their fake marriage agreement. He no longer wanted her to continue as his temporary wife as per their agreement. If she refused, he threatened to directly or indirectly kill her and then commit suicide to join her in the afterlife. Naturally, as a young, educated, and charming woman, how could she accept a husband like him, who was always disrespectful and had a lower level of education than her, not even worthy of being her student? Furthermore, they had never expressed love for each other, so how could they become husband and wife? What madness would make her accept such a threatening demand, forcing her to marry him? It was like he saw her as a child, feeding her whatever he wanted her to eat. Could a middle-aged man like him forget the saying passed down through generations: “Forcing oil and forcing fat, who can force love?”
After waiting for two more weeks without a response, he became angry and immediately reported to the Immigration Department that the student had been his wife since her arrival in the United States, even though they had never lived together. His purpose in reporting her to the Immigration Department was to have her deported back to Vietnam for deceiving him with false love, through lying to the U.S. government, so that she could be allowed to enter the U.S. as a student. More than a month after his report to the Immigration Department, the student received a letter from the Immigration Department ordering her to return to Vietnam within three months due to her criminal offense as mentioned above. The deportation order clearly stated the reason for her crime. Immediately after receiving the letter from the Immigration Department, she met with an immigration consultant who provided detailed instructions on what she needed to do as follows:
- Make an appointment with the Immigration Department to meet with an Immigration Examiner. Tell the full truth about the negotiation process between her parents and the Vietnamese-American man in Vietnam, completely for the sole purpose of giving her the opportunity to study in the U.S. under the sponsorship of a spouse. She did not come here to marry the Vietnamese-American man, as he accused her of.
- Remember to tell the Immigration Examiner about an incident that happened recently, which made her feel terrified. During the two-week period when he was waiting for her response to confirm that she would move in with him as his wife, one day, he visited her at the dormitory and showed her a gun he had in his pocket. In fact, this gun was a toy gun for children that looked like a real gun, causing her great fear. He then repeated the threat he had made to her before: If she did not agree to live with him as his wife within one more week, this gun would end both of their lives on this earth.
After this student met with the Immigration Examiner to explain the truth about the negotiation process in Vietnam between her parents and this fake husband, as instructed by the consultant, which she was supposed to pay $2,000 to an immigration lawyer to request a temporary extension of her deportation order for three more months in the U.S. Then, before the end of the six-month period, she was to return to her home country, and the lawyer would file the legal paperwork to bring her before the Immigration Court to request permission for her to return to the U.S. as a student. The story above is exactly like the saying: “The stick hits the back because this fake husband went to report her to the Immigration Department as mentioned above. However, after the Immigration Department’s investigation to see if it was true that this student’s parents had given him $20,000, so that he would agree to sign a fake marriage contract with her, then sponsor her to study in the U.S., whether it was true or not, was 100% true. Therefore, he is being prosecuted by the Immigration Department for criminal offenses because he perjured himself (Perjury) before the U.S. Immigration Department officials.
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Next, after this story, there was a widowed woman who was beautiful, but notorious for being an extremely promiscuous woman, having sex most of the times, in a state in the United States where there is a large Vietnamese community. So no one dared to marry her because they were afraid they couldn’t bear her intense sexual demands. On one occasion, she returned to visit her homeland in Vietnam and married a former Army Officer of the Republic of Vietnam Artillery. He was once famous for being a skilled commander, ordering his artillery soldiers to accurately attack the coordinates of enemy hiding bunkers, hitting wherever the enemy was. She sponsored him to live with her in the U.S. for nearly a year, during which he had to work 8 hours a day for an air conditioning manufacturing company and on weekends he would repair washing machines and dryers at home, to earn extra money to send back to his two children and their families who were stuck in Vietnam. Then, as mentioned above, sex every nights and days, how could this skilled artillery husband endure the sexual demands of this woman every day and every night, making him thinner and weaker day by day, sometimes he couldn’t even walk steadily, there were days he had to call the company to ask for a day off to stay at home because he couldn’t teach. Furthermore, he was often threatened by her with divorce for various reasons, so that he would be deported back to Vietnam because he did not fulfill the requirement of 2 years of continuous residence in the United States under immigration law. Then the love story of this talented man and beautiful woman at the half of their spring also came to an end, one demanded too much sex, the other was not strong enough to comply. Although a few months later, the husband knew that his wife was having an affair with a strong young man, he had to know his place like a fish on a chopping board, closing his eyes silently enduring, sucking the sweetness to let everything flow away, enduring waiting for 2 years and then they would part ways, not too late to avoid being hugged by bitter melon back to the old homeland, making their children, relatives, and neighbors in the hometown ashamed. She also guessed his intention, so she was happy for both sides and she would not be remorseful in her conscience if she had to divorce her husband right now, to the point that her husband had to be deported back to his place of origin according to immigration law as just explained above. But her speculation that way was not clever. Then one day, while he was lying listening to the song “Que Sera, Sera? what will be will be?” then coincidentally a friend called and introduced him to a legal advisor on immigration law for the student just mentioned. He was advised that it would be best for him to ask a lawyer to file a divorce petition with the court citing specific evidence that his wife had committed adultery. Furthermore, she did not object to his divorce, but she might even be happy about it because living with a husband without being satisfied sexually every day, it would be better to divorce and get it over with. However, his conscience could not bear to do so, so he had to wait for 2 years before daring to divorce her, so that he would not be deported back to his homeland. That’s what she thought; whereas the immigration advisor told him that more than 10 years ago, there was a similar case like his that happened and this man did not have to wait for his wife to divorce him for less than 2 years, but he immediately went to the Immigration Department to report everything that happened between him and his wife, so after his wife divorced him in less than 2 years, the Immigration Department not only did not deport him but also issued a permanent 10-year permanent resident card for him.
In summary, in life, “Man proposes, God disposes.”.
You can hide your misdeeds from the world, but you cannot hide them from God.
Deacon San Manh Nguyen
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